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- Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
- Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
- A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- The longer the title the less important the job.
- Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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