____ Marriage is basically just 99% replying to each other with... "I don't care, what do you want for dinner?"
____ Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you're in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
____ The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work.
____ The first rule of condescending club is really kinda complex and I don't think you'd understand it even if I explained it to you.
____ Me: Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see. I got a fever of a hundred and three...
911 Operator: Did u call earlier about having a bad case of loving me?
Me: Maybe
911 Operator: Sir...please stop
____ I woke up late. - obamas fault. I stubbed my toe - obamas fault. I hit a squirrel - obamas fault. I have indigestion - obamas fault. I hate you - obamas fault.
____ Had a good workout at the gym today. 50 reps on the bench press. Working my way up to actually putting weights on the bar.
____ ...so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
____ Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you're in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
____ The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work.
____ The first rule of condescending club is really kinda complex and I don't think you'd understand it even if I explained it to you.
____ Me: Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see. I got a fever of a hundred and three...
911 Operator: Did u call earlier about having a bad case of loving me?
Me: Maybe
911 Operator: Sir...please stop
____ I woke up late. - obamas fault. I stubbed my toe - obamas fault. I hit a squirrel - obamas fault. I have indigestion - obamas fault. I hate you - obamas fault.
____ Had a good workout at the gym today. 50 reps on the bench press. Working my way up to actually putting weights on the bar.
____ ...so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
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