latest funny Tweets / latest funny facebook updates

Click on advertisements on this page. A part of the revenue goes towards charity :)

71. Insert coin to view my status message.

72. I enjoy the Force like my toast - a little on the Dark Side.

73. I've replaced sex with food so now I can't even get in my own pants.

74. Jail has been sentenced to 90 days of Lindsay Lohan.

75. I have an amazing ability! I find objects just before people lose them. The police, however, call it theft.

76. I refuse to participate in this thing called morning without coffee.

77. Why I have half a mind to get another lobotomy.

78. Thinks that happiness is a failure to understand how bad things really are.

79. The only constant is change, except from a vending machine.

80. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

funny tweets that can make you laugh

Click on advertisements on this page. A part of the revenue goes towards charity :)

61. All extremists should be taken out and shot

62. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

63. Death is hereditary.

64. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

65. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

66. I have CDO. It’s like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order…like they should be.

67. I use to play sports. Then I realised you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything.

68. I was bringing sexy back, but lost the receipt.

69. Wonders why Noah didn’t kill the mosquitoes while there were only two.

70. Mantra: Today I will do amazing things. Or eat pancakes.