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- When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.
- The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
- Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
- (•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿ ̿”"
- I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
- If a girl is stupid enough to love you after you broke her heart, I guarantee you, she is the one.
- Hitting the LIKE button on your own Facebook status is like sending a text message to yourself then replying.
- I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
- People will believe anything if you whisper it.
- You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
- If you’re that person that says “Yeah I’m on my way.” when you’re still at home…I hate you.
- Dear algebra, stop making me find your X! She’s not coming back….Sincerely, Student.
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