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-Today I saw a guy with no legs. So I told him all about my recent stubbed toe. I hope it made him feel better about the whole no legs thing.
-I'm one of those people who tried this at home.
-If I had my life to live over again, I would live it over a brewery.
-Here's the deal, im the best there is. Plain and simple. i mean, i wake up in the morning and i piss excellence
-when you're a writer and can't find the right words, it's like
i- understand why people dislike me, I mean it must be hard to witness me being amazing without even trying!
-Wife: ( looking in the mirror) says " I want bigger breast. Husband: take a piece of toilet paper and rub between them for 6 months to a year. Wife: how in the hell is that going to help? Husband: it did wonders for your ass.
-Hi, I'm a spider, & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can
-Today I saw a guy with no legs. So I told him all about my recent stubbed toe. I hope it made him feel better about the whole no legs thing.
-I'm one of those people who tried this at home.
-If I had my life to live over again, I would live it over a brewery.
-Here's the deal, im the best there is. Plain and simple. i mean, i wake up in the morning and i piss excellence
-when you're a writer and can't find the right words, it's like
i- understand why people dislike me, I mean it must be hard to witness me being amazing without even trying!
-Wife: ( looking in the mirror) says " I want bigger breast. Husband: take a piece of toilet paper and rub between them for 6 months to a year. Wife: how in the hell is that going to help? Husband: it did wonders for your ass.
-Hi, I'm a spider, & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can
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