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____ Has never been in bad situation, only in really good stories.
____ Some nights I drive to a cliff, stare blankly out into the ocean and think really hard about my life, just in case I'm part of a montage.
____ We were doing team building exercises at work yesterday. I wanted to call my team "The Incredible Edibles" but then no one wanted to be on my team and now the room gets quiet whenever I walk in.
____ It's amazing how many of friends of mine who always said "it seemed like it was a good idea at the time", are now dead, or a dad.
____ If the cup is half empty then you are a wuss who can't handle a shot!
____ "Pump up the jam" - someone with a hearing problem.
____ I wish I could go back to a time where I could say that I love grandma's muffins without someone laughing at me.
____ Whoever used this toilet before me should be rushed to the hospital.
____ Every time I get in a taxi and it's not the Cash Cab, I jump out at the next stop and yell "Red Light Chaaaallenge" as the driver chases me.
____ The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest. :/
____ I don’t care if you call me a narcissist... at least we’re talking about me.
____ Has never been in bad situation, only in really good stories.
____ Some nights I drive to a cliff, stare blankly out into the ocean and think really hard about my life, just in case I'm part of a montage.
____ We were doing team building exercises at work yesterday. I wanted to call my team "The Incredible Edibles" but then no one wanted to be on my team and now the room gets quiet whenever I walk in.
____ It's amazing how many of friends of mine who always said "it seemed like it was a good idea at the time", are now dead, or a dad.
____ If the cup is half empty then you are a wuss who can't handle a shot!
____ "Pump up the jam" - someone with a hearing problem.
____ I wish I could go back to a time where I could say that I love grandma's muffins without someone laughing at me.
____ Whoever used this toilet before me should be rushed to the hospital.
____ Every time I get in a taxi and it's not the Cash Cab, I jump out at the next stop and yell "Red Light Chaaaallenge" as the driver chases me.
____ The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest. :/
____ I don’t care if you call me a narcissist... at least we’re talking about me.
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