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____ Just got done spanking my monkey. HEY, it pooped on the floor! No real Monkeys were injured during the creation of this status. (Mustache Mann)
____ ♪♫All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom♫♪ ~ Hip Hop Terrorists maybe (Jack Olivar)
____ I tell people my ass is tight because I work out when in actuality it's from all the squatting in the woods. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ I think Hotel California was written about Facebook. (Donny Norris)
____ Bon Jovi, everyone! ~ me on my first day in French class. (Egg Head)
____ Those celery sticks I had for breakfast tasted like a midlife crisis comes A LOT sooner when you drink a fifth every night. (Rae Broman)
____ Ever since I joined MSIB, my speed reading and scrolling abilities have improved. However, my comprehension and giving a sh*t remains the same! (Jack Wagon)
____ My coworker was so clumsy today. This morning he walked into my fist five times. (Adam Apple)
____ I hate when I go to a restaurant and I sit down and my waiter comes over and it's Grover. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I'm the fsatest tyyeper i9n the worsld. (GoldRobo Dancer Guy)
____ When a police officer asks for my insurance I explain that my plan will only cover him/her once we're legally wed. And that we belong together. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ If you've never farted in a cup then handed it to a friend asking them "does this smell funny to you?", you probably can't deal with me. (Jack Olivar)
____ Someone at work has been stealing my lunch from the refrigerator. Tomorrow, I'm bringing a cat food sandwich. BON APPETIT MOTHER F*CKER!!! (Eric Caro)
____ I was going to order that P90X workout video today when I thought, "baha.... hahahaha.... BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I drank till she was pretty, but I ran out of beer before SHE could do the same. Now I sit. All alone. (Mustache Mann)
____ Just got done spanking my monkey. HEY, it pooped on the floor! No real Monkeys were injured during the creation of this status. (Mustache Mann)
____ ♪♫All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom♫♪ ~ Hip Hop Terrorists maybe (Jack Olivar)
____ I tell people my ass is tight because I work out when in actuality it's from all the squatting in the woods. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ I think Hotel California was written about Facebook. (Donny Norris)
____ Bon Jovi, everyone! ~ me on my first day in French class. (Egg Head)
____ Those celery sticks I had for breakfast tasted like a midlife crisis comes A LOT sooner when you drink a fifth every night. (Rae Broman)
____ Ever since I joined MSIB, my speed reading and scrolling abilities have improved. However, my comprehension and giving a sh*t remains the same! (Jack Wagon)
____ My coworker was so clumsy today. This morning he walked into my fist five times. (Adam Apple)
____ I hate when I go to a restaurant and I sit down and my waiter comes over and it's Grover. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I'm the fsatest tyyeper i9n the worsld. (GoldRobo Dancer Guy)
____ When a police officer asks for my insurance I explain that my plan will only cover him/her once we're legally wed. And that we belong together. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ If you've never farted in a cup then handed it to a friend asking them "does this smell funny to you?", you probably can't deal with me. (Jack Olivar)
____ Someone at work has been stealing my lunch from the refrigerator. Tomorrow, I'm bringing a cat food sandwich. BON APPETIT MOTHER F*CKER!!! (Eric Caro)
____ I was going to order that P90X workout video today when I thought, "baha.... hahahaha.... BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I drank till she was pretty, but I ran out of beer before SHE could do the same. Now I sit. All alone. (Mustache Mann)
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