Saturday, March 31, 2012

weird facebook status updates

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____ It's funny how Disney films sometimes have hidden subliminal messages. For example, play Cinderella in reverse and it's the story of a woman who learns her place. 
____ I give the thumbs up ALL THE TIME. (If you replace thumbs with middle fingers) 
____ ever wondered how many weirdos have printed your profile pic, put it in their wallet, and gone around telling everyone you're their girlfriend? 
____ Procrastination ...... I'll make a joke about it later. 
____ Why does everybody assume that I play the banjo? I do but DANG!
____ I don't want a baby because they're way too lazy. 
____ I always go to work on my birthday... just for the free cake! 
____ I'm laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I'm in "downward facing chalk outline" 
____ I am looking forward to the 3D Titanic movie because I anticipate that that scene where the two young lovers are at the front of the ship pretending to fly will make for an awesome Kate Winslett boobie shot. 
____ Today is one of those days where f*ck you. 
____ I NEVER BACK DOWN FROM A CHALLENGE! I just kinda sidestep and stroll off whistling with my hands in my pockets. 
____ I’ve given the finger so many times today, I think it’s stuck in position. That means I'm all set for the rest of the week. :)
____ I love my job as a stone collector...it rocks!
____ Just received a text from my wife saying, "You're a childish prick sometimes." I was so annoyed. I thought I'd hidden her phone really well this time. 

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