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____ My best friend is Hilarious! (Well, her name's Hilary, and she's Greek)
____ I posted a joke on the wall at work and no one liked it. :(
____ I was sitting on the toilet when the girl in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn't finish my sandwich.
____ I hate being Bipolar. It's great!
____ A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early today and get hammered.
____ My Optician told me in 8 years I'd have 2020 vision.
____ You can tell me it was curiosity but I have a feeling it was obesity that killed that fat ass cat.
____ "Want to get a drink?" "Later" "How about now?" "Later.." "Now?" "Later.." "Now?" - If the Windows Auto Updates pop up was your friend.
____ FYI: No, I’m not feeling violent.... I’m feeling creative with weapons.
____ I think I'm gonna listen to my Seal CD on the way home. Ooooowwa Ooooowwa Ooooowwa!
I taped it at SeaWorld.
____ I'm kind of a hipster because I broke my hip way before osteoperosis set in.
____ I was going through customs at the airport and was asked if I had any drugs. Apparently "what do you need?" was the wrong answer.
____ My best friend is Hilarious! (Well, her name's Hilary, and she's Greek)
____ I posted a joke on the wall at work and no one liked it. :(
____ I was sitting on the toilet when the girl in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn't finish my sandwich.
____ I hate being Bipolar. It's great!
____ A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early today and get hammered.
____ My Optician told me in 8 years I'd have 2020 vision.
____ You can tell me it was curiosity but I have a feeling it was obesity that killed that fat ass cat.
____ "Want to get a drink?" "Later" "How about now?" "Later.." "Now?" "Later.." "Now?" - If the Windows Auto Updates pop up was your friend.
____ FYI: No, I’m not feeling violent.... I’m feeling creative with weapons.
____ I think I'm gonna listen to my Seal CD on the way home. Ooooowwa Ooooowwa Ooooowwa!
I taped it at SeaWorld.
____ I'm kind of a hipster because I broke my hip way before osteoperosis set in.
____ I was going through customs at the airport and was asked if I had any drugs. Apparently "what do you need?" was the wrong answer.
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