Saturday, March 31, 2012

laughter creating status updates

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____ My wife keeps nagging me to drive more slowly but I've put my foot down. 
____ So the new Titanic 3D is out? Maybe they'll see the f*cking iceberg this time. 
____ This is proof enough that I can function properly after only 4 hours of sleep. 
____ Decided to have an Easter egg hunt this year. The golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. Who said we were too old for Easter?!? 
____ I wonder how many people sh*t in sh*ts creek? 
____ I HATE IT WHEN THE POLICE WANT TO ACT LIKE FITNESS INSTRUCTORS AND CHASE ME EVERYWHERE. 
____ Eskimos have 49 words in their language to describe snow because they have so much of it. In the English language there are over 50 words to describe a moron. 
____ after finally finding a calculator and doing the math I will be able to pay off my debts at the age of 127. 
____ Women don't poop, they hold it in and it comes out as drama. 
____ These mushrooms look suspicious. I'd better eat ALL of them. 
____ Waiting for my favorite day of the week... Weedsnesday.
____ Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze? 

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