Friday, July 27, 2012

funny facebook status updates

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___ Hey, person I went to high school with: If your Facebook friend request is more communication than we had in high school, the answer is no. 
____ The first rule of foot up your ass club is stfu.
____ "My nickname is "Snooze" because I get hit on a lot!" - A really funny joke between me and my tenth margarita, as I sit here drinking alone. 
____ All this time I thought I was listening to the Angel on my shoulder. Turns out the Devil on the other shoulder is just a hell of a ventriloquist.
____ When I die I want my gravestone to say, "Don't just stand there, water my flowers!!" (Donna Scott)
____ What is wrong with me!!!? Asking for a friend. 
____ Roses are red and violets are blue, which makes "violet" a really stupid name for them.
____ Simple cure for childhood obesity: Ice Cream Trucks that don't Stop.
____ I love the look on people's faces, standing soaked in the rain at the bus stop as I drive past. It's partly why I became a bus driver. 
____ Siri never talks to me. Probably because I don't have an iPhone 4. 

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