Monday, April 23, 2012

funniest facebook status updates

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____ I only have two rules 1) Never forget. and 2) .... Uhm... Dammit! 
____ I have all the money I WILL EVER NEED - - - - if I die by 5:30pm today. 
____ People who use that snobby pronunciation of "vase" make me want to punch them in the foz. 
____ The zoo is a safe place to fart. 
____ Sometimes I post stuff for the funny comments 
____ As I handed my mother her 50th birthday card, she said, "One would have done." 
____ If a "g" falls in the woods, he would probably get all caught up in his gold chains and never make it out. 
____ "I wish I could answer phone calls with my Walkman" -Steve Jobs in the 80's. 
____ My dad used to say "always fight fire with fire", which is probably why he got kicked out of the fire brigade.
____ Today is my Tuesday. 
____ "APRIL FOOLS!!!" - Mark Zuckerburg, about the new Timeline...probably not... 
____ THE FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE EVER READ. 
____ Who else here is a master baiter? Yeah, I enjoy fishing too. 

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